Pre-COVID, I was making terribly slow progress on the main structure at Mons Domus, I’d had a medicore relationship that I finally gave up on, and was terribly disillusioned with the state of American politics.
I knew that I was building my monastery at last, but I’d lost the wind in my sails, most of my focus, and was behind in consolidating my vision for what my life would be like. Then COVID moved through the nation.
I took the lockdown order very strictly. My moral choice was clear: I had the capacity to be alone and stay put. Do so.
I first focused on getting the occupancy permit on the residence. I’d been squatting on my own land for some time, and enough was enough. Living among stud walls and insulation suited me fine in some ways, but the rather ornery person behind the phone at the inspector’s office was fed up with my requests for extensions on my building permit!
It was a bigger project than I anticipated. Mostly because of my age (51-53). The last time I did substantial construction I was a spry 28 year old and was somewhat unstoppable. In any case, I passed my various inspections (quite proud of the electrical and plumbing, I must say!) and still under lockdown, was left to watch Star Trek and contemplate the universe. My life began to gradually ratchet itself back to a simpler and more considered state. It was gradual. I was still downsizing possessions to fit in the smaller structure and wrestling with the notion of giving up the search for a romantic partner.
I was making certain progress about what shape my monastic routine would take. I began reading more, setting more clear boundaries for myself and counterproductive activities and lines of thought. A shift from time-passing to life-shaping activities began affecting my routine. Concurrently, the 2020 election was heating up. Politics had seeped well into issues that weighed heavily on my experience like the environment and the plague, places where politics does not belong. Social media was a dizzying nauseating amplifier of frustration, worry, and hatred. My call to monasticism became unequivocally loud, and I once more, took a committed step into monastic life.
Today is the day that my Pfizer shots are at full effect: 10 days after the second shot. COVID rages, and I’ll remain mostly isolated, distanced and masked in public to protect others and set an example. The behavior of individuals and governments through this has been incomprehensible to me. It’s reinforced my commitment to solitude. I try not to do much head wagging, especially with regard people, but it’s challenging. It’s going to take a long time for me to sort all this out for myself.